I must admit, Father’s Day is my least favorite holiday. That may sound a little odd, but it just reminds me that the one man that I can call Dad is not here on this earth and has not been here for the past 14 Father’s Days. And to be honest, even after all these years, it hurts like I lost him yesterday.
Sometimes when I’m particularly whiny or feeling sorry for myself, I sit down and start listing all the things that *I* got screwed out of, like not having him walk me down the aisle when I married my husband, him not being there when I gave birth to J3 or him not cheering when I graduated from college. Of course, that gets me absolutely no where. It just burns the hurt a little deeper, and frankly, I didn’t think it was possible for that hurt to go any further into my soul.
This year I tried to focus more on my husband and the fact that he’ll be father to two little ones by the next time my least favorite holiday rolls around. I attempted to make a list of the good things that have come out of my father’s passing, like the fact that I’m a strong, independent woman that can take care of herself (frankly, that’s the only one though). But it didn’t mask the pain. So instead, I’m just going to say this:
Dad, I miss you so much and wish you were here. We’re all doing well and you have two beautiful grand kids with two more on the way. Mom is doing so much better than I ever thought she would, but fact of the matter is, things aren’t the same without you. I’m just grateful your smile and infectious laugh still resonate through my memories and I thank you for that. Keep watching over us and we’ll see you soon. Happy Father’s Day…
To my wonderful husband, thanks for putting up with me today. You’re the best partner and daddy anyone could ask for and you deserve this day (plus many more).
To all the other dad’s out there, HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! And to those that can, give your dad a hug. Because I wish I could.